


far above, down below

by euphiliacs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Attempt at Humor, Chapter Fic, F/M, Fist Fights, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Married Couple, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Side AtsuHina, Wedding Night, bunk beds, i dont think there is any but HSHWHW, this is purely stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphiliacs/pseuds/euphiliacs
Summary: when first nights aren't always as steamy.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	far above, down below

**Author's Note:**

> due to a very messy brainstorming with my good friend, @fey_cia on twt, my very dead brain triggered something in me to pull another piece of nonsensical shit writing out of my ass that I also had absolute joy writing despite my crippling eyesight and stiff joints, so please, enjoy.
> 
> also fey made [ART](https://drive.google.com/file/d/12gApFiy63TdUFclxz_6UhBqZY1TMkkIH/view?usp=sharing) of this. appreciate it or I will eat your feet.
> 
> (No pls [follow](https://twitter.com/fey_cia?s=16) her art is *CHEF'S KISS* im srs or i will eat your feet)

You were about to murder your husband. 

Well, you were contemplating it.

You were prepared to skin your newly-wed husband alive as he stares you down with the similar glare that could rumble the heavens and the same shit-eating grin that you had over the intense competition of rock-paper-scissors in front of the two-story bunk bed. You both knew that this would either end peacefully or with one of your heads on a stick.

This was supposed to be your first night together after the tiring days of wedding receptions and you just wanted to sleep and possibly, soon enough, get laid eventually but with the sudden incident of the hotel that reserved for the both of you catching fire you were both unable to experience any of that.

That was when Atsumu came to the fray and decided to be the better twin for the first twenty years of his life and offer you both the Miya twin's' childhood bedroom to stay for the night. Out of all beds that would appear tonight, you didn't expect spending your first night with the love of your life in a bunk bed, a shitty broken bunk bed that smelled like the snotty boys that you once hanged out with after school to play Mario Kart in their shitty PlayStation on their shitty carpets and their shitty air conditioner and sitting in their shitty bunk beds as you share shitty jokes. Why not?

"I'll take top bunk" you declared when Atsumu left the place with the human tangerine that he invited to the wedding.

"Huh" the better Miya squinted his eyes, in disbelief and disgust at his newly-wed bride "No fuckin' way"

There was a moment of silence and you had thought of dropping the whole topic entirely until Osamu decided to speed-walk his way into the top-bunk but you were faster on the uptake and came crawling up to secure said bunk, hissing at Osamu's face and dripping beads of saliva on his cheeks.

"Yer a loser" he spat, poison in his tongue

"And yer stingy"

You knew for a fact that the better Miya never felt the bone-chilling and quirky experiences of being on the top-bunk if it weren't for the piss colored abomination always snatching the chance away like a tiger pouncing on his one-in-a-million prize. You almost felt bad for him, but the top-bunk is not just a top-bunk. It's a dream, it's an experience better than any astral projection could even compare. It fills your head with the delusions of you conquering the world and not even God could stop you in your tracks. You feel mighty. Compared to the lower bunk, it felt small and prickly, reserved for the hermits. And you are no hermit. For tonight at least, that would be Osamu.

"Okay, how about this then..." You balled your hand into a fist, slamming it into your other palm.

"rock-paper-scissors. The winner gets the top bunk"

Osamu menaced at this proposition, but nodded away "deal."

...

After exactly three minutes and thirty seconds passed and both of you had fallen into the deep pits of mentally digressing to the minds of a 5-year-old.

According to Osamu, the scores were a tie but you were suspicious still of the possibility of your husband bullshitting the tally counts. Osamu on the other hand, had suspected that you had deliberately sucked up to the game in order to reveal your ultimate rock-paper-scissors power move just to flip him off and step on his dignity. Even if an uninvited party were to witness this nonsensical clown show that would probably make the cut for a new sitcom segment, they would know that in reality, neither side wants to admit that they're just _that_ bad at rock-paper-scissors.

In the corner of Osamu's eyes, you were polishing your non-existent kitchen knife, preparing your next move.

"If ya win" a bead of sweat rolled down your forehead, expression equivalent to that of an angry maths teacher "I'm filing a divorce"

"No," Osamu's palms were sweating "ya won't"

"Then give me the top bunk"

"No"

You gritted your teeth and cracked your joints. A resentful aura surrounding your very being, bracing yourself to release the most powerful move than any shonen protagonist has ever committed. The game had ceased to sitting nicely down the tatami mats, now you both are simply standing up to level each other, asserting dominance.

"Don’t make me regret this, (y/n)" Hostility filled the void in his eyes, hands on the ready.

"That's my line"

a rock

a paper

a scissor

_shoot._

...

  
  
  


"ah, shoot"

“Something wrong, Atsumu-san?”

Hinata Shoyou beamed with all the remaining vigor and sunshine left because he’s Hinata Shoyou. Atsumu’s heart clenches. Both men were on their way to go home to their shared apartment, and after passing by countless convenience stores and the blinding street lights which Attack directly at Atsumu's sleep-deprived eyes while driving, he was reminded of something.

"I forgot our apartment keys..."

After hitting the brakes and Hinata's countless un-life-threatening nagging, he took a U-turn and drove his way back to the house that the blonde Miya had left the both of you alone in. he felt bad for ruining Both of your sweet time together but he can't help but be ultimately curious about how the procession is going, just by walking by his childhood room's door. He reckons he could use a little peek. 

"uh, Atsumu-san" Hinata said with less vigor than he had after pulling up to the old Miya household, his hand pointing to the big cracked hole on what seemed to be coming from the Miya twin's childhood bedroom "d-did someone broke in?"

oh _no._

Atsumu sprinted his way into the main entrance of the house, the human tangerine following closely behind him. Was it _that_ good that neither of them heard someone walking in and smashing their window? the blonde Miya could only wonder. Sounds of muffled ruckus could be heard from outside of his childhood room, blood-piercing screams and low thuds were audible enough to his ears. It sounds like either you or his brother were wrestling with the burglar, and Atsumu relaxed for a second. _Good job, ya idiots!_

Atsumu had told his partner to dial the police as he tip-toed, slammed the door open, and saw something that was....really was not he was expecting.

There were no burglars and no houses were broken into.

Instead, he was greeted by the sight of two grown individuals, fist-fighting like clowns.

Just another Miya and his partner, seemingly locked in a weird wrestling position. you were holding to Osamu's neck like a Vice, choking him as he pulled your hair, your face a very horrible scowl. The situation around the both of you looked like a battle-field turned junk-yard. judging by the messiness of the room it doesn't take much to figure out who had left a huge cracked hole in the window.

"GIVE IT UP, SAMU" You yelled, holding onto his neck harder "I'M TAKING TOP-BUNK"

"NO," Osamu wheezed, his face was a color of a lavender neon-colored Furby "I WON FAIR AND SQUARE, (Y/N). YER JUST A LOSE _-ugh_ "

Police sirens blared in front of the Miya household. The sunshine was sucked out of Hinata Shoyou. So that's what this was all about.

A painful chop was sent flying to both of your heads. 

…

  
  


for today, and the days after tomorrow, and the following days after the day after tomorrow, Atsumu had kept a mental reminder to himself:

one, leaving two mentally deranged newly-weds in your childhood room which had bunk beds in it, resulting in said newly-weds on each other's throats, fighting for their rights to reclaim the top bunk was a huge horrible mistake.

two, to never play tricks on newly-wed couples ever again because he believes in karma

three, to mind his own freaking business.

Atsumu had told Hinata to go home without him last night when you declared that you were about to fry his brother alive and file a divorce.

but no one is frying any brothers.

and absolutely no one is filing any divorces.

not in Atsumu's watch, at least.

Atsumu suggested that they should both take the top bunk bed and the newly-weds agreed half-heartedly to the statement with a pout on their faces. Ruckus left the household for the night and Atsumu Miya was exhausted. He was a relationship therapist for precisely 3 minutes. 

come morning, enters Miya Osamu, gracing his presence in the kitchen with a bruise as big as an island plastered on his head, a neck succumbing to the gradual pains equivalent to undergoing the guillotine, and a pair of bulging pupils that could stab a soul and kill a man.

"So, you two _finally_ had fun last night?" the pissed colored abomination wiggled his eyebrows. Osamu scrunched his nose.

"oh, yes," Osamu answered mechanically, "I got pushed to the side from the top bunk and fell. My wife tried to kill me, 'tsumu. So if yer asking if I had fun last night then, yes, it was a _party_ "

"uh," Atsumu averted his gaze, not ready to die yet from his twin's stabbing pupils.

"but I really mean it, 'tsumu" He washed his face in the kitchen sink and mopped his face with a towel. Will Osamu give him a monologue that killers usually do in horror movies about cutting onions and proceed to explain the metaphors behind it that the onion that Osamu was cutting was his very own twin brother? 

His heart dipped. And so does his soul. 

hopefully not.

"Yer suggestion ain’t bad, the space was just small. Which is why..." Atsumu gulped, but Osamu did not reach for any knives or onions.

"We're going to IKEA" 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> will there be an ikea chapter??? will the couple set ikea on fire next??? will they adopt a dog??? would there be more bunk beds???? will I ever continue this fic????? do I even have the mental capacity to????? do I love osamu?????? me wonders as they sat themselves on their 5 dollar picnic chair at seven in the morning staring at the sky.


End file.
